Charisma Carpenter isn’t going to be silenced anymore.
The actress has written an “open letter” for The Hollywood Reporter with advice on how to be an ally to those who reveal they are survivors of abuse.
Carpenter, 50, made headlines last month when she shared on social media that she suffered psychological abuse from creator Joss Whedon during her time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, which “triggered a chronic physical condition” that still afflicts her.
“My open letter is not just trauma unpacking or dumping,” Carpenter writes. “It’s a wake-up call. And a call to action. It was written in a concerted effort to foster change.”
Carpenter says she was inspired to write the open letter after being “overwhelmed by phone calls, emails, public comments and DMs of support in response” to her revelations about Whedon, whom she accused of creating “hostile and toxic work environments.”
“The truth is that while the inundation of comments and calls were rooted in good intentions, some still fell short. It dawned on me that many may not know how to be an ally or to best support a survivor of trauma.”
In her open letter, Carpenter offers 17 tips that she hopes “will not only provide more empathy for victims of abuse but create an evolved, empathetic society that will encourage the next person to come forward.”
Here are some of Carpenter’s words of advice:
Please don’t tell people to “rise above,” “just move on, it was a long time ago,” “get over it” and “forgive and forget” abusive experiences. This is dismissive and devoid of empathy.
Believe people when they say, “This happened to me.” Believe it the first time.
Don’t expect victims of abuse to talk about their abuse at the time it happened. Often it takes years for survivors to process their trauma and even longer to realize the extent of harm it has caused.
She also champions the importance of hiring those who have spoken out against their abusers. “Nothing is more isolating and scary than having your ability to feed your family taken away. This fear holds people hostage to their suffering and supports a broken system.”
Carpenter’s revelations about Whedon came following her participation in WarnerMedia’s investigation into alleged misconduct by Whedon and others during the filming of Justice League. Last summer, Cyborg actor Ray Fisher accused Whedon of “gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable” behavior during filming, prompting the investigation.
Carpenter calls justice for the abused “an integral part of the healing process” and says that it isn’t about “cancel culture.”
“It’s best to reframe it as ‘consequences culture,'” she says.