John Denver: “Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk On Christmas)” – 1973
When John Denver and Christmas are mentioned together, normally there’s some Muppets involved. His Christmas album with his felted friends is one of the nicest, purest things you can have during the holidays. But that wasn’t his only Christmas offering. The earlier folksy, perky song “Please, Daddy” may be the polar opposite of the “Christmas Shoes” song, except they’re both not good. Prepare to shake your head in disbelief.
Cyndi Lauper: “Christmas Conga” – 1998
The three C’s of the holdidays are definitely not Christmas, Conga, and Cyndi Lauper. No two of these should be put together, let alone all three of them. From the opening strains that evoke more of a Mariachi feel than a conga line, and lyrics that invite one to “bonga bonga bonga” while doing it, this song turns visions of sugar plums into genuine nightmare fuel. Get a load of this: